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Do you write? Need extra income?  24 by 7 x 365  I've got writing work for you immediately. Better pay than wasting away in a chat room and I PayPal you on acceptance of copy, same day usually. I am constantly in progress on twenty or more projects which require quality American and UK English, from 50 to 20,000 words, 500 being the most common. Don't know the topic? Google it, read up on it and then write about it. No offense, but PLEASE, do not register if English is not your first language or unless you are VERY fluent. Not to be harsh but I have had to disappoint some eager people who tried very hard but just can't hack it. Back to the positive, though.

My name is Bill Purkins. Call me Bill, or "Monk." I'm a freelance writer (read my recent reviews) and I am overloaded with writing jobs that guarantee me payment on acceptance. I am so overloaded and in demand that I turn down work, which I hate to do, as sometimes a small job done well can lead to recurring income in a big way.

So, I raised my rates. That cut out the cheapskates, but still not enough to leave me any idle time. I still found myself working 15 hour days seven days a week. I just can't type and think fast enough, and I do both faster than most, at least the typing part.

Then, I got the idea of farming out the extra work to trusted friends and colleagues and found good reaction. I started by emailing them a list of jobs available and kept a database of specialties and who was working on what (I'm a programmer too), and I pay them upon delivery. Their copy is great, and I edit it anyway when needed, and if a writer continually needs no editing, I will raise their rates. They get paid before I do. If your quality of writing is not up to snuff I will work with you and edit your copy and help you improve, but you may be dropped. Sorry. This is after all, a business.

You might ask, "Why go through Bill for this and not just get the writing jobs on my own and get ALL the money?"

Good question. Why don't you? Go ahead. Go to www.Rentacoder.com , www.Scriptlance.com or any of the others, like www.constant-content.com or www.i-freelance.com . I have lots of competition and you can bid your heart out or write in advance and try to sell after the fact. Fact is, even most good writers write lousy proposals and competition is fierce. Rejection is our way of life. Some people can't handle rejection well. Even the best get rejected. Believe me. I win 18.5 % of my bids and I am considered good.

I'm different because I write GREAT queries and proposal letters and win bids. I am bidding on jobs four or five times a day and winning more work than I can handle. This tedium is relieved from you and all YOU have to do is ask me for work. I will start you out with one short article which I will guarantee payment on acceptance. You must be able to write to specifications and adhere to word counts and keyword density sometimes, but that's part of being a freelancer. If by some chance your work is so badly written that I can't use it, I will have to gently tell you and maybe pay you a small kill fee if I see you have tried, but will not use you again. Again, PLEASE speak English.

How else am I different? I already have the job secured and money in escrow that guarantees me payment. So, I can pay YOU the same day you email me your copy. Or at least within 24 hours. I have to edit it and sleep and do my own writing too you know. But sometimes the turnaround time is MINUTES. If you really NEED the cash? Tell me. I have a soft heart and understand poverty. You can link your PayPal account to your bank account and have CASH on minutes or hours. Here's how your day goes. You're broke and need food. Literally. I've been there. You email ME, get a writing job, write it, submit it, chances are I'm at my desk or online even at night on a wireless laptop, I don't sleep well, I approve your work and PayPal you right away, you go to the ATM and get cash. It's REAL.

Okay, you're thinking. is THIS is where you get asked to sign up for a one time low fee of  only
Something Something Ninety Five?

ABSOLUTELY NOT! I will NEVER ask you for money. I am here to pay YOU. For writing. I get paid by the people you are ultimately writing for and they are paying me. I am taking all the risk by paying you before I even get paid, but if we meet deadlines, there's no problems. That's why this site is different. I don't want your money. You want MINE. The one exception to this is if you buy a Handcuffed Monkey mousepad, but that's different.

Don't believe it?

Read the testimonials:
When I first saw this website I thought 'yeah, right' but decided to give it a shot. I am SOOOO glad I did! I love finding ways to make money while sitting around in my jammies. I write for several other sites but usually have to wait a month to get paid. The Monk pays me via Paypal every day, usually within hours of accepting my articles. While you're waiting for The Big Muse to strike you might as well stay busy writing and making money at it. I would heartily recommend The Monk to any writer." - M. 28 Feb 2009

 
"I have to admit that I was skeptical when I first saw Bill’s page. I sent off an email after reading his witty presentation and within minutes, I had work to do! Bill is fast, has great communication and pays super fast! A huge plus! Don’t miss out on this wonderful opportunity!" DLRanere 2 Mar 2009


Enjoy our free writer's tools... Make us your Home Page!
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Got a writer's tool you want to see here? email the Monk. Writers Downloads!

Your word count is:

FREE SPELL CHECKER AT THIS LINK: http://chxo.com/scripts/spellcheck.php

This is a WILD research tool! Get your Google search results as a clean list  of one line links!
THE RULES
1. Get near $ 600.00 and I need your social security number and name and address to send you a 1099.
2. NO PLAGIARISM! One copy and paste mistake can happen. I understand. It happened to me and I was embarassed as all hell when my buyer informed me I had been Copyscape nabbed, but it was an honest, if neglectful error on my part. We ALL do it. Copy and paste something for reference and it accidentally creeps into our copy. Once, maybe. TWICE? And it's goodbye.
3. I will give you titles and wordcount and keywords and phrases and all available reference material I have. You may have to do research. I pay you more in that case.
4. PayPal Only. It's free to set up a PayPal account.
< click on the PayPal image to get an account.
5. Never go UNDER word count, and never go over by more than a few words. If the buyer wants 500 words they have a reason for it, so make it AT LEAST 500 words, but not much over. If word count is a RANGE? (I hate that)Deliver a word count within the range. NEVER under and NEVER over. If you don't have a word processing program like Word? There is a free word count tool on the top of this page. Use it.
6. Use proper grammar and English. I rarely will ask for UK English. Don't take the job if you can't do it.
7. Run spell check. If you don't have a spell check word processor? Use the free tool at the top of the page. No charge.
8. DO ask me for work. It's up to YOU. Click the HandCuffed Monkey up top or this link or mailto:HandCuffMonkFish@aol.com?subject=Bill-Got-any-writing-work-for-me-today?&body=
9. This is not glamour writing. You are not getting a byline except in rare cases in which case good for you. This is "work for hire" and what you write for me becomes mine and you sell all rights to it and you may not use it again for anything except as a sample of your writing, but never can you sell it again. So, don't sell me your autobiography.
10. Writer's guidelines. I will specify on each job how to deliver copy, usually as .txt or .rtf or .doc files. No paragraph indents. Leave a blank line between each paragraph. No double spacing. Pay attention to keywords and instructions I give you. Spellcheck. Grammar check. There is a free spell check and word counter above. Use them if you don't have anything but WordPad or NotePad. I like to keep files in .txt format but edit in Word.
11. Register and then log in and look at the open jobs and apply. The site is new and growing every day. Welcome.

FAQs:

Q: Is this legit?
A: Yes. I have contracts with buyers around the world looking for well written American and UK English copy, which is scarce to come by in quantity and quality.

Q: If you're paying ME, how do YOU make money?
A: Well, I charge more than I pay you and I earn my money by the added value of my editing and securing the work for you. My buyers are happy because they get copy that isn't gibberish and just search engine chow, plus, it's been edited by two sets of eyes, yours AND mine. Monkey Chow copy is good writing.

Q:: Do I have to pay taxes on the money you pay me?
A: Yes, if I pay you $ 600 or more in a year.If that happens I will need your Social Security Number and send you a 1099 form.

Q What does your email address HandCuffMonkFish mean?
A: Well, it used to be "HandcuffedMonkey," representing the old idea that 10,000 monkeys chained to typewriters for an infinite period of time would sooner or later by pure chance reproduce the works of Shakespeare (the infinite monkey theorem), but that AOL account went away long ago and people had gotten to calling me "Monk" or "Hand" in the Author's Lounge, so I kept the "HandCuffMonk" parts and added the "Fish" because I fish a lot and have written for fishing magazines for twenty years and had two fishing talk radio shows, so it became "HandCuffMonkFish," which reads well, sounds good, represents what people call me online but makes little sense upon examination, much like me. You asked, I answered.
 
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